I spent the majority of the day today wandering around the annual Folklife Festival in Seattle. Along with the usual stages of musicians, stalls of vendors selling handmade wares, and food stands ready to feed the masses, I was also subjected to far too many walking fashion and style faux pas.In my humble opinion, attendees at the festival could do without:
- Acne-Scarred Bare Backs: walking through the area by the food stands, my husband and I were stuck behind a young-ish guy who decided that the world needed to admire his shirtless body. Not only was the poor, delusional boy unexceptionally built, but his entire back was covered in acne and acne scars. Sexy? I think not. Keep the shirt on!
- Clothes That Don't Flatter the Frame: as we were wandering around, my husband and I noticed far too many people in clothes that were ridiculously ill-fitting. Where to begin? There was the slightly overweight girl who stuffed herself into a hideous strapless dress that was at least one size to small and a good 6-inches too short, the middle-aged former biker girl who probably thought she looked great in her leather vest with her mid-section sticking out, and the numerous plus-sized belly dancers. Do these people have mirrors? Honestly, the world does not need to see that much of you!
- Blue-Veined Cleavage: I don't know about you, but the only thing I liked "blue-veined" is cheese. Ladies, do you really need to wear dresses and bodices that squish your boobs so tightly that your veins pop out? I said it before and I'll say it again: Sexy? I think not!
- Patchouli: I went to college in Vermont, I've smoked my fair share of pot, but I've never, ever liked the smell of patchouli. It's way too strong and those who wear it seem to bathe in it. Who do you think you're kidding? The smell of pot is far better than the smell of patchouli, so do us all a public service and lay off.
- Dreadlocks: Let's see--hair that has matted naturally due to a lack of any brushing, cutting, or washing. This is a style people actually want to embrace? The "I'm so counter-culture I can't even be bothered to attend to my own public hygiene" look? Ick. I can only imagine what kind of crap is matted up with the dirty hair and honestly, it frightens me a bit. God, I've become a yuppie...a hair washing and brushing yuppie, thank you very much.
